10/13

Blog post due -- what do you need to revise on your drafts to show more clarity, conviction, commitment, emotion, and overall strengthen your performance. Be specific on what you need to revise and why. 300 words.


After reviewing and performing my act with jasmine I have noticed some corrections that I should include.  When I first performed for the rough draft I did not show enough emotion.  For the final performance I must show that I am very sad because I have just lost my father.  Not only that, I should get angry at Jasmine for a few lines because she is lying to me.  I noticed what she was doing and was in shock what she has done.  Although in the end, she tells me why she is a night women because she wants to provide me with protection and security.  I also should revise some of the lines because it sometimes gets repetitive.  I mention the part where I found out about her hidden secret multiple times.  maybe during my monologues I can walk around a little to show that i am very concerned for my mother.  I should not just stand there and look into the audience.  
At times we rush a little to get our lines over with.  This is a timed performance and think it would be better if we took our time with each of the scenes.  I want to show that I am committed to my character.  When I hear that my Dad has died I should show grief by going on the ground and then slowly get back up to talk to Jasmine.  I think Jasmine and I should include more blocking.  Maybe at the end Jasmine and I can go down the aisle to show that we are walking away from this.  We can also add some jazz music (very low) when Ivan and Jasmine are dancing together when I am speaking my monologue.  When I am done with my monologue the music shuts off and Ivan goes out the door while I pretend Im in bed.  

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